Thursday, July 30, 2009

miscellaneous musings - worries

Mia napping in the middle of the floor with her favorite (surgical) gloves on.


Jill arriving in the rain complete with Hannah Montana hat, umbrella and baby doll.

Ale House with good friends.
I haven't posted in a while. My mind is full of mostly worries. Worry tends to paralyze me. I want to sleep or watch tv and just not think too much. Worries about the world in general and about my talented and beautiful daughter who has finally finished her degree and having a hard time finding a job. The police finally found her van which was stolen 9 months ago in Sarasota, but the impound fees were too much for her to pay. No telling what shape the van was in, but she wanted it back anyway. It had air conditioning and was the right size to fit her family. She cried and made phone calls for 3 days before giving up and realizing she could not get the van back. Worries about my son who has amazed me lately by signing up to go to International Academy of Merchandising and Design to study sound recording. It is a huge risk since it is very expensive and he has not got a good track record for finishing anything. I have a little hunch and a lot of hope that his love of music and a lot of encouragement from Stephanie might get him through. Worries about Jill who just returned from a long, scary bus trip with her mother to visit her family in which Courtney had her purse, bus ticket, money and cell phone stolen almost as soon as she arrived. Also stolen was Jill's cell phone which was meant to keep her safe. The GPS on the phone which was meant to track Jill if necessary turned out to not even be good enough to find the damn phone! For whatever reason, the bus company would not honor the return ticket and Courtney had to borrow money just to get home. Courtney needing a liver transplant?? Courtney is a huge worry in general. Stephanie and Cory did take Jill to Disney World for her birthday on her return. That child's life is full of highs and lows but missing the basic security that she really needs. That is what I try to provide along with Stephanie, her dad, Jaime, even Roger who was worried about her, too, while she was gone. Jonah is due home on August 9. They had a tornedo up in Tennessee while he was there which is something he has always worried about. Worried about little Mia who is growing like a weed and learning every day. Her scars are getting better, but she still faces more surgery. Wondering if she will EVER get potty trained. Worried about how I can make some money to help us make ends meet. Worry about Roger who just had a CT scan of his neck arteries yesterday. We have been to the doctor every day this week for different tests. Today it is Nibbles turn to go to the vet. Tomorrow Roger has to have his coumadin tested again. Of course, Roger has his own worries about his children and grandchildren. Well, enough about worry. I have more uplifting things to say, but this post is already contaminated with worry. I will add a little gratitude that I am waking up with my husband in my beautiful house that Alan did such a good job on with a beautiful view and friends and family down the street and around the corner.